New Jersey Enterpreneur - Small Business, Entrepreneurs and Venture Capital

An article in FORTUNE magazine (4/30/07) reported on "The Trouble with MBAs" saying that "freshly minted graduates lack key interpersonal skills." My good friend, Curt Carlson, President/CEO of the Stanford Research Institute, once said "the technology is the easy part" when starting new companies. SRI and its subsidiary, Sarnoff Corporation, have spun off dozens of new ventures – all of which required more work on leadership, teamwork, and motivation than on product development.

B-schools are picking up on this challenge by "changing to ensure that quantitative geniuses also learn how to hug it out," according to FORTUNE. Some of the top schools such as Wharton, MIT, Tuck, and Chicago have started emphasizing "teamwork and are paying more attention to ‘soft’ skills like listening."

Soft Skills Can be Learned

Recent research on how our brains work has proven that there are inherent physiological differences in how we process technical skills vs. how we process interpersonal issues. One half of the brain – the technical side -- is genetically created and set at birth. If you don’t have the natural talent for math or music or writing, it will be difficult for you to develop it.

The other side of the brain controls psychological or interpersonal skills and it continues to grow with time and experience. Good news! You can readily work on learning and improving interpersonal skills.

Tapping in to your Emotional Intelligence

Psychologists often call this part of developing the brain, "Emotional Intelligence." There’s even a measure (EQ) which scores these factors and shows how socially mature we are. Our Emotional Intelligence score increases as we work through life experiences and learn from others. While our intelligence quotient (IQ) is pretty much fixed at birth, EQ continues to get stronger and can be part of our educational process.

Women have an advantage

There’s particularly good news here for women. In business, women consistently score much higher in self-management, social awareness, and relationship management than men. Moreover, because of their innate sensitivity and their physiological need to nurture or "mother," they handle the management process differently and in a softer way.

Women in management positions explain projects in a more kindly manner, which is more effective than the male tendency to say, "just do it now." Women typically rank higher on management scales and receive more positive feedback from employees, reinforcing the concept that they have higher emotional intelligence.

First step: Know Yourself

The first step to growing interpersonal skills is to understand ourselves – to identify personal strengths and weaknesses. Only through this analysis will you know on which interpersonal areas to work. According to the very wise and well known Benjamin Franklin, "There are three things extremely hard: steel, diamonds and to know oneself."

When assessing your own strengths, look to outside sources. There are many self-assessment tests available on the internet – some are free. The free versions are pretty basic but certainly a good way to start. There’s a pretty good EQ assessment on the website www.tickle.com. If you want the full report it’s only $9.95.

The Value of 360 Degree Feedback

Even more helpful in the business environment is experiencing a 360 degree feedback assessment. This type of study compares your self score with scores given by your boss, your subordinates and your peers. Each person ranks the skills and competencies required in your specific position on a scale from 1 to 10. Answers are anonymous. See my website www.predictivehiring.com and click on the link to Panoramic Feedback at the bottom of the home page.

Coaching for Objectivity

Having a personal or executive coach is also extremely beneficial. Particularly if you’re in a leadership position, it can be hugely helpful to have an uninvolved confidant to share ideas with and help you with your development plan. There are all kinds of executive coaches available as well as consulting firms that will come in and talk you through the steps you need to take.

These are just a couple of ways to take an objective look at yourself. Whichever route you choose, it is always money well spent. I have known many organizations (including my own) that have taken great leaps forward with the help of resources from the outside with an objective approach.